It's 06:51 in Crawley, 07:51 in Uppsala, 13:51 in Shanghai, 17:51 in Auckland . Post a message
so here it is merry halloween. as he said *whistle whistle whistle* *hum diddley hum hum hum* and so the story went on... a la a la dee daa
Destroy People Who Suck More Than You
This is my personal favorite. There are subsets of this which will be included later. Basically, you know who you're better than. The people who swim in ecstasy of their own stupidity... for them, ignorance is bliss. You sometimes wonder if you would be better off if you were like them. Probably so. Make them pay. Insult them, make fun of them and make their lives hell. Laughing at fat people and the handicapped is also not out of the question. Anything that will boost your ego by stepping on someone else's head. Sometimes you might get hurt, but it's worth it. You always win in your head anyway. If you need courage to insult people who are stupid but much larger than you, you can always resort to alcohol. It's such a wonderful invention. There are so many damn idiots. cDc wouldn't exist otherwise. Laugh at the grunge losers who still haven't had their umbilical cords cut. Laugh at the blind sheep getting raped by the media. Laugh at your insecure friends. You are above all of them. You are God.
Fun With Your Bladder
You never thought that your bladder could make you happy. Just like everything else, you take your bladder for granted. For kicks, next time you have to urinate... don't. Don't urinate for a day or two, until the pain is excruciating. Then go to the bathroom. You will feel such stupendous satisfaction and relief, like nothing matters at all except for the fact that your bladder is empty. And you know what? It's true.
I'm really not bothered how desirable you find me.
(I see you've given up on the language moderation thing)
please stop being so fucking pleased with yourself, it only makes you even less desirable
As in desrability? I don't see why I need a larger sample...not like I want you to find me desirable is it...
at the moment you have a sample of one, thats hardly a rigorous statistical refutation. You'll probably ditch what you have done of your dissertation and choose some new potty philosophical idea
We see the following...
Amount of dissertation done: 0
Goals scored in FA Cup: Don't make me laugh!
Perhaps you might want to rethink? Even number three might be at least 10% by now.
They might not lose to the Lib Dems any more. My bet got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.
I've got someone to go to Telford with me, it's OK, none of you have to worry.
I'm a no not a chance in hell on a night with a blue moon obscured only by the flying pigs
I'm a very possible. It's not going to be a sell-out I'm assuming?
your not supposed to call my bluff. It makes you sound more interesting
that we do know something you don't
and I bet matthew would like to keep it that way
well thank you andy...1. for the invite and 2. for the comment about ppl vomiting (note; sarcasm)
Matthew does need trousers. Otherwise people near him might vomit.
OFFICIAL GUESTBOOK TRIP TO TELFORD
All users are invited to join me in a voyage from Cambridge to deepest Shropshire and back on Saturday 8th November. Oxford users can join the trip if desired at Birmingham New Street. Time to explore the highlights of Britain's second city is included, before we head on to Telford Central and from there to the Bucks Head Stadium for the highlight of the trip: Telford United v. Crawley Town in the FA Cup First Round. The cost of the trip will be Â£27 plus entrance to the ground and any food and drinks that might be required. For further details e-mail email@example.com
tee hee you guys are all so cruel.... but its so funny! Matt says who needs trousers anyway?? Thats a different one for matt, i would suggest unless you guys know something i dont...... ;o)
Who said anything about getting changed in a hurry?? ():o) he had f course been wearing them inside out since the night before...maybe even all day!!
the UV glow in the dark stuff never works...you need loads of it on to be effective.
Wearing your trousers inside out after getting changed in a hurry is a bit of a schoolboy error though matthew.
As for the rodeo bar, I've spoken to the proprietors and they assure me it's going to appear sometime soon...maybe, possibly.
you seem to be becoming a bit of a night creature. Might help you see which way your trousers are as well
It's UV glow in the dark... I'm waiting for the ideal opportunity to wear it.
oh no! not BRYLCREEM! matt id be careful people will start thinking youre trying be gareth gates or something.........
And the really sad thing is, I did buy some Brylcreem the other day in Boots.
Is Matthew's new name, 'Matt', the symbol of his new, cool, inside-out trouser wearing, sleazy third year, slicked back hair (ok, maybe not) persona?
apparently everyone wears their trousers inside out there
Barry's guestbook, which has always been promised to appear on his website, but never actually arrived. Hence "I'm going to the Rodeo Bar" becomes a source of much amusement.
Yes. You're right this obvious indication of major misdemeanour is of course very scandlaous and indeed unjust.
Right, in brief. Scandal about showers in I staricase..ah who was it?? Shock shock lets take the piss out of matt...you were all there for that. Matt did NOT stay at home last night and he did stay there was an early morning fire alarm. People start talking when you go out with your trousers INSIDE OU. Yes, that was bright. There you go. Its reallly not that scandolous is it now children???
What were 'you kids' doing? We seem to be lurching from scandal to scandal, very exciting. What will happen next?
Baz, why were people emailing you though?? it wasnt a big deal it just LOOKED dodgy!!
i wouldn't worry about it. hardly anyone saw you. i didn't get the email telling me about it until 10 minutes ago.
What is this new intrigue, 'cruel, nasty and unnecessary' that doesn't involve us?
Right, that was cruel, nasty and unnecessary. And i give it all of maybe 4 hours till Barry gets wind of this one. oh the humiliation!! He was being nice.....its not what it looks like!!
Coming here makes me feel instinctively like trying to defend my sanity. Nice to see it chilled and happy again...
And so the outer circle closes its doors once again for the winter...
It's bound to be quiet here - everyone's busy in the rodeo bar!
For the posterity i was talking about please note I never caused the argument, and I think you and matthew will be v.happy. Good luck and all that etc
Maybe you'll be a nice person when you're thin.
Oooooooooooooh. Bye bye.
i am on a SODDING diet!! i have lost over half a stone since that pic...that pic was last thurs!!
I have all I need, fortunately. Have a nice day. And why not go on a diet?!
but you can't take hazelwick out of the boy
Can we sense a little irony? No? Oh well, maybe we can teach you that in our next session...
so? im fat.....as the saying goes...at least i can diet! what hope have you got??
but what am I? infinity times plus 1 no comebacks nuh nuh nuh
you make the faux pas of the week and now you pander to the resulting insults to try and make it up, utterly spineless
I can leave on positive but hostile terms, perfect. Hope to see you soon, lovely little Tia.
apparently I'm a w**nker now too. what next, gay? a boffin? a nerd?
It seems you're beginning to enjoy abusing us. All we did was make it possible. Whenever someone annoys you in future, just come here and take it out on us.
its probably true. Unfortunately all these insults lose a lot of their sting and they cross northamptonshire
Dushal has a new phone number. He just texted me specially to tell me. It's 07717824261. Isn't that interesting?
WELL DONE BAZ!! we all bow down to barry for his niceness, in complete contrast to the other two w**kers here!
barry's thing in cambridge romance is gone. That would have been fun to stick in here
wheres the sadist solidarity andy anyway? you did this!
And judging by your stubborn, self-absorbed persona you'll probably be here last too. If only to spite everyone else
It's just fun as an occasional diversion from real life. And I too make no apologies (although obviously I did apologise, I'm sorry).
ouch, what is this now - attack barry?!?!
Matthew, you are lucky - the gossip column of the griffin was finished today, and you're not in it.
theres no reason i should. Cos, to be childish... I was here first
if only I had the means to inflict the pain I enjoy watching what a world that would be
the essence of my point is this: Just as everyone else has had to learn i make no apologies for being this way.
I have to go soon, I have stuff to do. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I hear Tia say.
Yes, Tia is in fact a shortened version of 'spandex'. CHrist for some clever people you arent half stupid. Fine i'll change it. Hmph.
I think both of us find being like this more fun. Who you calling a sadist anyway? And why?
What do you expect? I'm not called anything like 'spandex? you might wanna rethink that' and I hope you're not either. Is Tia the short form of that?
bases his life around being the cool, relaxed, nice to know guy while some of the rest of us have real lives which don't require everyone to like us
then of course some of us just find being like this more fun
I'm basing my analysis on a photo, your voice and this conversation. From which I can make one supplementary point: you have a nice voice. Well done.
Richard is stunningly attractive, once he's applied his rather thick make-up each morning:
and only one:
MSN names that are too long to see are sooooooo childish
well, i'll be quite honest, its clear that Baz is a nicer person than you two will ever be. At least HE'S nice to me...and at least he has something to go by unlike you two who are basing your whole analysis on a photo!
Possibly I went about 20cm too far. I'm very sorry. But I did enjoy it, and I hope you did too(?!)
that was Andy. Really the distinction has to be made. Andy IS ugly
Didn't call you ugly. In fact I said you weren't ugly. then you started saying you were uglier than me. ah well.
Come on peeps...you CANNOT call me ugly...not without a serious note of hypocrisy anyway.....ive seen your pics now!!
Incidentally...You saw me in the morning in I staircase but that in no way means I stayed overnight...because I didn't! I was wearing a dressing gown because I was cold.
Wrong end of the stick on two accounts.
(I use that word too often) I'm not like this in real life (except with Richard, but he deserves it), it's just me trying to be funny (and then dig myself out of a big hole afterwards), so don't be disappointed when I'm friendly and quiet.
Let me firstly address a preliminary issue...which I was tempted to post on downingjcr.co.uk, but which I wont:
1) I have never ever ever ever ever ever ever mentioned your name once Tia. Not ever. So, to accuse me of spreading rumours about YOU is completely out of order, and incorrect, when in fact I was enquiring as to whether MATTHEW had been involved in the 'noise in I staircase' incident. It was only when you jumped in and started waving and moaning that anyone actually linked you to the incident - as evidence of that I would ask you to scroll through the entire outer circle AND downingjcr.co.uk and not once will you find me mention, or even hint, towards your identity.
Secondly, Andy is slightly harsh, Richard moreso. It's very easy to sit back and criticise someone from behind the shield of an internet guestbook but I know from my experience of organising freshers week that Tia is really nice, and would be perfectly suitable for Matthew. I therefore think it's horrible that Richard and Andy can post rude comments about her like that, especially when she is clearly reading. I think an apology is in order...
Finally, good luck to matthew...he's clearly found someone very nice and doesn't deserve all this bickering that's surrounding him at this time.
Let's just leave him, and Tia, alone, and all be friends.
I hate you all! You lucky bastards, you undeserving gits. Screw you and your "happy lives"
And that was only yesterday.
or at least attempted
I bet you want to have a shower
Oooh, the mood was sooooo not right for that
Just be bitter with me for the rest of your life. Assuming you marry Matthew and have twelve children. Just a question of training you so you fit in with all our conversations. If you want to come here, you have to be comfortable with nastiness. Should read some of the things Richard has written about me.
OK, quick agreement, when Barry's words of wisdom arrive, we all stop posting so we can gaze in wonder, and go and have showers.
of this conversation, it still seems possible to sense the tension
You're right. I am not dignifying your poor-taste remark with any more bitterness
You seem really nice, I even invited you to my birthday party! Only three people have been invited so far, so feel special. Honesty is what it's all about. I'm practicing.
But it's nice if people come in swearing and leave swearing. But don't leave, just swear at me and abuse me. I'll send you a picture of the back of my head if you like.
COME ON GUYS?? you seriously expect me to not be upset bout that one?? ok, yes im fat. That surely does not make me a bad person???
what is it, you get your life sorted, you turn self destructive?
It's all good, except for the fact that people are abusing me. Which is fine.
going to get better, eventually, just like the railways - but it will require similar investment
Because you don't understand the jokes, that might take a while!
If you want to be interested again, I've just had a little MSN conversation with Richard, along these lines...
so are you going to state the obvious or am I???
you got the picture?
I asked if she was ugly
i think not
c'est a toi
yeah, you didn't say she WAS ugly!
she's not disasterously ugly, just fat
I don't like fat girls
bearable, not exciting
neither do I
Don't be annoyed!
Worryingly I've managed to do four complete Functional Analysis questions in the past hour. I clearly am better at Maths when I don't concentrate.
and my stance on religion has hardened since my cox pulled out on saturday cos of the sabbath
How's Helene - the catholic girl who's 'not a fly'?
(I should say that my position on religion has moderated significantly due to a mellowing of my character and, er, the fact that certain Russians are of the Orthodox faith.)
Of course im stupid. Someone has to be! So i take it you mean the 22nd of the NEXT month, which would be....november i believe
the problem is sorted for me too, just somewhat less satifactorily
Now Valentina is 'sorted' for me, then it was only just starting. You retain that problem though...hahaha!
Do you have a bear lying around as well? That would be a type 7G.
but this one won't get deleted. As I have a beer lying around I shall drink to posterity
Disturbing symmetries with the original guestbook conversation.
Make sure it's of the angelic face. A little risky, but here we go:
gets off on the thrill of watching to close to icy windows while licking them, knowing he could get stuck and be caught at any time
any of you guys have msn?
addresses please, i'll even send you a bad pic if you like
So you'll have to persist with the animal Mayer for a while before you get the pleasure. Nothing in my shower though please.
And how have you suddenly gone from 'I'm uglier than you' to being angelic-faced?
all this, without the ability to stand back and stop writing for a while... mayhem! i think some more things could get broken.
What have you broken? Was it Matthew's fault? By the way, you can come to my birthday party with Matthew, so we can all meet you.
a particular type. At least thats what it says on the sex pest list
if you remember our flight home from dublin andy, and the ironic doomed comments, they would come in handy "i'm less than impressed with this"
But you know, it's a novelty isn't it? (Don't start questioning my character a la Matthew, it's not under discussion, my character is constant, no potential voyeurism at all. No.)
someone else shagging in my shower I would put it down alongside the multitude of other such surprises recently, another example of divine mockery
If it's something I wrote, it's a matter of pride if I made you fall off your chair. Particularly if you broke something on impact with the floor.
Yes, ut unless youre some kind of voyeur (and i couldnt possible comment) you probably wouldnt e too quick to hop in
Get Valentina on here. A bit of Ð’ Ñ€ÐµÐ·ÑƒÐ»ÑŒÑ‚Ð°Ñ‚Ðµ ÑÐµÑ€Ð¸Ð¸ Ð½Ð°Ð¿Ð°Ð´ÐµÐ½Ð¸Ð¹ Ð² Ð¿Ð¾Ð½ÐµÐ´ÐµÐ»ÑŒÐ½Ð¸Ðº Ð² Ð‘Ð°Ð³Ð´Ð°Ð´Ðµ Ð¿Ð¾Ð³Ð¸Ð±Ð»Ð¸ Ð½Ðµ Ð¼ÐµÐ½ÐµÐµ 34 Ñ‡ÐµÐ»Ð¾Ð²ÐµÐº. ÐœÐ¾Ñ‰Ð½Ñ‹Ð¹ Ð²Ð·Ñ€Ñ‹Ð² Ð¿Ñ€Ð¾Ð³Ñ€ÐµÐ¼ÐµÐ» Ñƒ Ð·Ð´Ð°Ð½Ð¸Ñ ÐœÐµÐ¶Ð´ÑƒÐ½Ð°Ñ€Ð¾Ð´Ð½Ð¾Ð³Ð¾ ÐšÑ€Ð°ÑÐ½Ð¾Ð³Ð¾ ÐšÑ€ÐµÑÑ‚Ð° could really confuse things further.
Surely I'm worth knowing anyway? You seem to want to talk to me sometimes at least.
I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair. Sorry Andy (moreover the posting in question will now be miles down the page)
To be fair, if there's someone else shagging in your shower, it's slightly more interesting than the average shower.
you have a remarkable talent for bringing down a written conversation. If only you were capable of real conversation you might be worth knowing
and yet i am the but of jokes now? and snide remarks? does it make sense?
Up for that Tia? me llamo Andrew, que tal?
I'm uglier than you, no you're not, yes I am, no you're not... Best conversation ever
I dunno, I wouldn't like to comment on my own appearance, it was a completely random thing to write (but at least one person finds me attractive, take note Richard)
And can I ask AGAIN - institutionalised?
Tia - what subject do you do?
Tia, have you been posting messages with titles that aren't your name. We've had this problem before, it doesn't work with more than 2 people doing it
I'd certainly get a quick head check just in case
I'm uglier than you! I'm uglier than you! yay!
Yes, maybe inappropriate. Deal with it. And now who's the hypocrite capitalising? And as for am i ugly, well put bluntly, yeh i guess so!
directness is your vice, control it.
perhaps we should ask, have you been institutionalised?
what a shame.
YOU CANNOT START A RELATIONSHIP HERE. IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOO INAPPROPRIATE!
Do you really like partying more than Risk? I don't think Matthew is the 'man' for you...
I'm going to be rude, remember it's not against social conventions here, so deal with it, don't think I don't love you really.
are you ugly?
comrade, cadre, scum bucket, but settled with hombre. "idiot", did I hear you right 2:1 no dissertation done boy?
Now, I like Tia and (I think) Tia likes me.
Now we just need Barry to come in with some appropriate song lyrics.
I really don't feel good about being called your 'hombre', sounds much too positive/possessive. I come back from a nice solid biogeography supervision, and what do I get? social crisis and some 'idiot' (don't complain) from oxford calling me his hombre...
Indeed comical...and suitably fitting. Um, no-one really knows....its kinda weird at the mo. I like matt, (i think) matt likes me
What is the situation between Tia (hello, I don't hate you, don't swear at me) and Matthew (hahaha)?
excluding old long arm of course. Its a new ;level of TOC participation. But now I am going to go and "do and matthew" (in the sense of have a shower, nothing else)
How could he? He is he after all. what would happen if I met you? I feel like Ive known you for years...
Nah, its cool, besides i got to rant at you guys. And yes, you did sound very nice. Even i was trying to be polite! And if for any (fear of sounding bigheaded) reason you perceive matt's coming good as having anything to do with me....you soooooo havent met me!!
'random fresher' was meant as a complement, that's like my ideal reply when I ask someone who they are. If you'd said your name I would have been much less happy
I'm sure Matthew can take it. He's used to my random abuse. Matthew, just pretend its late and we just got off the train
Where do I start?
1) I love it! So much fun, I can't stop laughing at the contents of the the last two pages.
3) Tia, you know I'm nice really, I spoke to you on the phone after all, didn't I sound nice? You need to understand that this is a place for abusing people, and that includes random people like you. You're never meant to read it, obviously (why did Matthew show you?), but take it in the spirit of fun. And come join us more often if you can muster the bitterness.
if you watch a sitcom for enough episodes theres alway one where the sad little guy who everyone laughs at gets one over the established star (me!).
"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humour..."
this may be the episode where you come good, buts its still my show, I am the star (he proclaimed to the silence)
It is a little like a sitcom...dont you feel powerful now matt? And who was it that made the comment me answering matt's phone? He was out of the room, and i AM a random fresher....kinda tricky to explain other than that!!
true, but then my expectations have been dashed already, now I guess I have to accept everything. As for my life... hmmmm, its not the first low, it won't be the last, but it has been pretty convincing. I can't believe it, both Andy and Matthew. AAAAAAAARGH!
All that was meant by the out-of-character remark, is Matt is pretty much one of the last people here you would expect to run off to the shower for a quick shag!And cheer up, your life cant be that bad, can it?
Its been a good few years since it was use d this much - long live controversy!
i just informed everyone my life had hit a low. I'm so innocent in all of this.
out of matthews character? The last few days have led me not to trust ANYONES character anymore
Im not saying you cant mock your "hombres" im just asking you not to mock me!! As you all have been!
This conversation is can't take place in real world geography. You may have only been "here" for 3 weeks, but I am here and not "here" or there as it would be to me
I don't WANT you to say anything. I don't even know who you are. All I want is to be able to mock my hombres in peace without being told to "FUCK OFF"
No, i know, but at least im not as bitter as you. And id rather people thought i WAS bitter than a complete slag.
Is it too much to ask for everyone to stop insulting me? Ive been up here all of three weeks and already you guys are bitching about me. What do you want me to say? Im a humourless, ugly cow so now can you leave me alone?
reading back through your message it seems that you were "annoyed in staircase I". This does you no favours
To dear old Tia, it would be too long and doubtless too complicated to explain and would involve much that no-on (and by no-one I mean not me) would want to go over again.
To Matthew: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
To Baz and Andy: (whispered) who invites these people on here anyway. How can you have a sensible discussion about someones life let alone a full on insulting rant and bitterness filled bagel of resentment type tirade if its all going to be public knowledge???????????????????
To Tia: You obviously treasure your privacy ("FUCK OFF OUT OF MINE") and so do we so... i don't think I hae to go into capitilisation here do I?
Yeh sorry bout that, did go a little off the handle there. It WASNT me and it wasnt matt, surely you guys as his mates can work out thats so out of character?!? I would like to know though why eveyone thinks its funny that i posted before i came up and that i have a warped sense of humour??
Let's calm all this down and keep it civilised...
no-one was accusing anyone of anything, and we definitely weren't accusing Tia of anything...I didn't know WHO was supposed to be the female source of these rumours until you said so yourself! We were merely having a laugh at matthew.
while we're at it, let's laugh at richard.
Oh, and while Im still pissed off.....I wasnt trying to be funny. And so what if i did post on the forums beofre i came up? So did loads of other freshers...christ get your own pathetic little lives and FUCK OFF OUT OF MINE.
I find you all hilarious I really do. First point; It was me who WROTE the post about the showers at 4am in the morning i am NOT going to be whinging about am i?!?!?It was in fact intended as a dig at Baz, yes we all saw you in your boxers the following morning mate. Secondly, Who gives a shit? Why are some people being oh so bitter??
I came to Downing on Thursday, isn't that enough? If I can meet the lovely Tia, I'm there...
to be fair...i didn't think it was you matthew...but a lot of the first years seem to have that impression.
Richard, your life really has hit an all-time low.
Andy, come to downing soon.
Be fair. I'll be at the post office too. To laugh at you.
Matthew - full story please. I'd be as annoyed as Richard if I wasn't already...satisfied, but I'm actually pleased, shock horror.
I hate you all! You lucky bastards, you undeserving gits. Screw you and your "happy lives"
I would engage in some light hearted banter on the whole issue except that now the 2 people I could guarantee would be getting less action than me are getting laid simultaneously. This has obviously not improved my already suicidal mood! "annoyed in staircase I" seems like a twat who obviously isn't getting any either and is probably as bitter as me. So in conclusion Matthew is pounding some girl in the shower, andy is in moscow for the new year and I am going to work at the post office and repeatly listen to "it'll be lonely this chrismas"! I'm also still in some pain from the other week and am banned from the club in question. I have put on 3/4 of a stone
Forget all previous stationary points - this IS an all time LOW!
There's gossip on the guestbook again! I'd like to contribute as well, but Richard can probably tell it better in his inimitably hostile style.
Occupation: Full-time space cadet
I don't think so.
I see that she is called Tia (now I remember, not random fresher) and she joined it before she even started, in Sept... But the quality of a her posts is not inspiring, I don't think she'd be a good wife Matthew.
eg 'I propose that all aspects of downing (drowning) college remain the same, except that they abolish all exams, instead awarding firsts to those people who can prove theyve had a generally, all round good time.' (funny girl...)
I was about to ask about the mysteriousness of having a girl who called herself 'random fresher' answer Matthew's phone at about 9pm this evening. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Rumours are rife in Downing that matthew has been up to something with a female fresher....
Your comments please...!!!
There's nothing in the world I'd like more than to entertain you with fine wines and fine conversation. Come at your own convenience.
Well, it is your choice. And I won't mind if you buy something from Sainsburys.
I'm unenthusiastic about you being invited for a meal, but I suppose it's not my choice whether a cook for you or not. Just be prepared for poison.
Matthew, first there was the telescope, then (skipping a lot) we came to the Very Large Telscope and the Very Large Array, now Europes new telescope is going to be the O.W.L telescope meaning, in typically childlike awe fashion....
The OVERWHELMINGLY LARGE TELESCOPE
Us crazy physicists...
that in life we have yet to hit a low, and in fact life is so shit we never will. Instead life is just an exponential decay
Life as a third year is an experience of exponentially increasing excitement. Ah well, we can't all be as lucky as me...
at this time of the season, Crawley are ALWAYS top of the league or thereabouts, but NEVER win
No! The link doesn't work any more.
You all missed a crushing performance by Crawley last night, 5-2 winners.And they are now top of the league once more!
1 Crawley Town 14 6 7 1 27 14 25
2 Havant & Waterlooville 14 7 4 3 23 20 25
3 Nuneaton Borough 14 6 6 2 21 11 24
4 Weymouth 14 6 6 2 22 16 24
5 Stafford Rangers 14 7 2 5 18 15 23
6 Eastbourne Borough 14 6 5 3 15 15 23
7 Hinckley United 14 6 4 4 19 15 22
8 Worcester City 14 6 3 5 22 15 21
9 Hednesford Town 14 5 5 4 16 17 20
10 Grantham Town 14 4 7 3 17 16 19
11 Tiverton Town 14 5 4 5 19 20 19
12 Dover Athletic 14 4 5 5 21 21 17
13 Cambridge City 14 5 2 7 21 25 17
14 Merthyr Tydfil 14 3 7 4 22 23 16
15 Dorchester Town 14 4 3 7 20 23 15
16 Welling United 14 4 3 7 14 19 15
17 Bath City 14 3 6 5 15 24 15
18 Newport County 13 3 5 5 16 16 14
19 Chippenham Town 14 2 8 4 15 19 14
20 Weston-super-Mare 13 3 5 5 12 16 14
21 Moor Green 14 3 3 8 10 18 12
22 Chelmsford City 14 1 8 5 10 17 11
You really shouldn't be similing about this shot...
you can all see the greatest table tennis shot ever played conveniently captured on camera at http://www.orieljcr.org/albums/album09/aak.mov
We have a TV!!!!!!!!
Come play games and watch DVDs and become happy people.
Can I play in your pool team?
I got my fresher rowers up at 6am then found I'd forgotten to book the river time! Brewery, Piss up, the inability to organise one in the other
theres a new rodeo bar out there. I think you should sue for trademark infringement
So what does that make you? Lalalalala I met the famous Nim earlier, she knows who you are, she thinks you're 'cool' apparently, well done. And I can't concentrate on anything, not even a drink. Lalalalala
I drank a stupid vodka and wurthers originals concoction last night - i mean it doesn't take a genius to see where that would lead
My lip is blue, my nosen is swollen inside, thus blocking it and I have a cold, my head is swimming, it is, to use a well oiled term, a low
Haven't had a memorable one in two years. But then if one of my lecturers had made the joke below, I wouldn't have remembered it.
By the way, hahahhahahahha. I win.
Best joke of my lectures so far was in a Principles of Statistics lecture, when talking about the different philosophies of Classical and Bayesian statisticians.
"Of course, if you put all the philosophers in the world end to end, they still wouldn't reach a conclusion."
It was quite funny at the time...
it was in Physics world "Is Physics funny?" The answer to which is short and in the negative
White writing on red background: "If this sticker looks blue you're driving too fast"
Going places that scare you
Number of times fish line used: "Oh God NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Number of lectures missed: 3
Hours of Lab missed: 14
Suicidotourism - visiting places because they have good places to kill yourself
Masochistotourism - going somewhere because you know you'll hate it and it might well cause you injury
really? Oh dear, I fear the fish line may have to be rapidly improved
tonights big line:
1: do you like fish
2: cos my dad owns a fish shop...
you can guess how sucessful that was...
Personality: I'm quite nice really
Desirability: Very high actually, the guestbook should be the first to know and is
Amount of dissertation done: 0 (yeah, well...)
Goals scored in FA Cup: At least I've watched a goal in the FA Cup. My presence affected when goals were scored, by some kind of chaos theory thing.
So ha Mr Mann.
"oh the horrible irony"tourism: Go around being a tourist, hating tourists
postmodern-ironic tourism: Go around laughing at things because they're so ironic, scoff at other things superiorly, take a passionate like to something really naff because 'its soooo postmodern'
or maybe just sit in your room and make nihilistic comments about tourism
toilet-tourism: tour toilets (mr clean!)
inefficient-tourism: try to spend as much time and money on a trip somewhere simple without leaving the obvious route and without actually stopping
barry-tourism1: stretch out your long arm to far away places and claim you visited them
barry tourism2: visit far away places and claim they are you true home, that you belong there, that you are almost native to them, and that all this makes you soooooooo deep, man...
barry tourism3: half finish a website - then go on holiday
kill a foreign cow with a dead fish-tourism: does exactly what it says on the tin
dangerously experimental tourism1: sit in a floating box on the thames. Open box a month later and see where you are
dangerously experimental tourism2: send different bits of your body to different places
dangerously experimental tourism3: kill yourself, see where you end up
There was no trigger for that random burst of unnecessary harshness
Amount of dissertation done: 0
Goals scored in FA Cup: Don't make me laugh!
Personality: 0 but wins in a 0-0 with ANDY
Goals scored in FA Cup: Pi
Goals scored in FA Cup: 1 (freak occurence in the 1934 FA Cup where Bob Snowdon headed a goal while eating a sandwich, the goal being creditted to BREAD)
start a rival experimental tourism lab.
subterratourism - Arrive at Heathrow, tour the underground, return to heathrow and leave
Awesome intelligence implication: 93%
0.3% real fruit juice
Goals scored in FA Cup: +- 1 (Heisenberg U.P)
is always aaaa, I don't know what that says - personality test via the typing of 4 arbitrary letters, matts obviously an egotist
Intriguing... my three other words are
d and s are clearly special...
My four letter word tends to be matt.
I'll start Top Trumps
Goals scored in FA Cup:0
I love it! I've already done hypotourism (Belgrade) and Nyctalotourism (Yorkshire Dales). I want to collect the whole set!
My recent 'type four letters into the box' history is very strange.
starting with s - 4
starting with d - 12
starting with g - 1
starting with h - 1
And that's it, of the whole alphabet. Do you have the same problem? Why is d so convenient?
(PS hahahaa, I forgot to type four letters into the box!)
We've now done 84 full pages since Richard had his let's write the same thing lots of times session in February.
Matthew - invent an internet version for your website
Sorry about more downtime. New server is apparently being installed next week which won't crash as often.
No, it IS Dear Liza!
Is Matthew being stupid or funny? Are you replying stupidly or funnily? It is Delilah surely?
Delilah a hole.
(Or as my computer predicted when I typed 'there's' in the name box, 'there's a Frenchman in my cupboard' hmmmm...)
he bowls RH, bats LH and his motto is live for now. Vraiment, ceci n'est pas moi!
Ceci n'est pas Richard...
With impeccable timing, I got an email to say the old guestbook will be shut down...
"Effective October 15, 2003 we will no longer offer free TheGuestbook.com accounts, but if you act now, you can pre-upgrade to TheGuestbook.com Premium Edition for the charter rate of U.S. $9.95 for the first 12 months. This is a 50% discount off of the regular $19.95 per year rate. Your account will automatically convert to the new Premium Edition when the new features launch on October 15th."
9 o clocks are good, they give you the edge over the loads who don't
Even I have to go to a 9am on Madingley Road 4 times this term. AAAAAAAAAAARRGHH!!
(PS When I forgot to do the verification, it gave me examples of how to put four letters in the box, such as abcd, that's very nice of it.)
Provisionally scheduled for Saturday 22nd November, same day as the RWC final. Leave that evening (or weekend) free regardless of all else.
Two exciting lectures. First I learnt that a teacup is topologically equivalent to a doughnut, then "logic computation and sets" in which we set out to prove what is "truth".
To make your website less Barry-ish, fix the link to Adam's site... you need an http:// in the URL
as is clearly obvious I am pointing at the viwer, saying 'this is not me' which is clearly true
Also a pain in the arse here, but am now online after complaining to the IT dept four times.
It's 'ce n'est pas moi', ceci is demonstrative I think, when you're pointing to something, 'this one here'.
I wouldn't get excited. and as usual, getting onto the network here is a real pain in the arse
I don't actually have the oxford one on this computer, only the freeserve one, what's the address?
OUCS has screwed up a multitude of times in the last week, at one point they deleted the old site for no reason. It works now
it has a slightly more postmodern feel
and dare i say it, more of a barryish (oh God no!) feel
and the 5th of november, 6 bullets in a gun, 7 ate 9, so on the 10th night - Apocalypse! and on and on and avalon...
The old guestbook still exists! And it works! We should rebel, desert this new thing and go back to the original (and the best).
How have you been to the regal and back to your room in your first night in Cambridge?
That's nice. Just like my room, which is also nice.
Deleted it. I imagine it will take a couple of days to get online in Cambridge, so bear with me...